Choice

Today during early 8.30am English class was rather different. Apart from listening to slides on how to do report and some boring easy Harvard Referencing, the lest 20minutes of the class really got my mind think real hard for a long time. Our teacher asked this question to the class.

What is the essence of choice?

I seemed to be starstruck. Not sure why but thoughts, questions, answers, doubts and pondering came gushing into my brain. It was as if I just got plugged into a memory reader. A few students were asked by the lecturer to answer. I had something to say too but it was too complicated for even me to understand so I kept quiet the whole Q & A session. She asked us more

2. Do we really make a choice or does a choice just happen?
3. Is having no choice really bad?
4. If we are influenced by the way we were brought up, is it   really our choice?

I have gone through a lot of pain, suffering, difficulty until insanity. Just name it. Choice... Definately everyone has made choices, good and bad. But is it really because we wanted it or we made it turn to the choice crossroad? Bearing in my mind that I chose to come to this far and remote area to study my university was the hardest decision I had to make. After choosing Taylors, I thought I was happy to finally be accepted into the university I wanted since last year. It was a choice. I never regretted it until I was removed from SJ's life. I felt that I got into the position where I had to make up my mind. Continue with studying in Taylors or just start fresh. I wanted fresh because I felt that if I were in Taylors, I don't know she would have affected me emotionally. Starting fresh was my last choice but I took it. It was my chance.

When I first started with the first few weeks of Swinburne, I felt that this is where I should build my home. I was wrong. Moving into first semester after MPW, I got depressed with the people around me. Hated my life and always felt very negative about myself and everyone else apart from my family. It lasted for months... I felt like the loner and outcast I keep thinking I was. Not till I met the CP family. I slowly began to blend in with them. They accept people for who they are. No matter what nationality you are. I felt grateful for knowing such people and till this day I'm still hanging out with them almost all the time. Richard, who has become my closest mate here in Kuching. Since Pam & Eshan are the lovebirds now, I do at times feel like the '3rd person'. I don't like it but I try to not think negative and just stay on happy. :) Richard is good company and fun to have around and I don't like to see him moody. Always have to make sure he's alright and happy. Tough but I do it because he's all I have left here in Swinburne if anything happens.

Mid-terms in less than a week so the 3 crazy subjects are constantly banging my lil brain. I'm quite worried about my Physics since the class is terrible and hard to really remember anything. Will focus on it after I'm done with EMA & Inno. I wanna get at least more than half. Like 28 out of 40. Its my minimum so yeah.... Darn studies! Music shall keep me company! :D

I haven't done much practice on my guitar sadly... :( Been so caught up with so many events and busyness. Hate it. I have like 1 month left to play the song for drama. My solo! Excited, nervous but worried I cant do the song in time. Below is the song I will be singing and playing. Hahaha

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlRq8E_Teoc

Peace out and live life like it's your last. ;]